Episode 51 · 40:30
PS5 Review, Clever Marketing Strategies & Setting Healthy Boundaries
A PS5 review leads Dan and Tom through gaming, multilingual content, memorable marketing and the discomfort of saying no. What looks like a mixed bag is really a conversation about recognising the experience you want and refusing pressure that pulls you away from it.
They connect product decisions and personal boundaries through the same question: does this choice serve the person it is meant for?
The useful bits
What to take with you
- Review a product against the experience it promises, not only its feature list.
- Small personal details can make local marketing feel human rather than mass-produced.
- Language choices change who can participate in content.
- A healthy boundary begins with knowing what is already enough for you.
Watch the conversation
The original episode.
Full conversation
Transcript
Transcript generated from YouTube captions. Dan/Tom speaker attribution is AI-assisted and may occasionally be incorrect.
Can't remember if you talked about the frying pans while we were recording or not oh those frying pans up for uh auction so they're in my room cuz uh I'm going to play you know when it's like and at the end you have like a musical outro I'm going to play the don't be a doorstop theme with these pots and pans so hang around at the end of the episode I'll play the PO of B guys we've just.
Been sat here for like 20 minutes chatting realizing that the auto record setting hasn't actually worked and Tom monologued for 20 minutes before then I joined and I chat for 20 minutes so failed CR into 30 seconds that was the best piece of content we've ever done and it we have to recreate it now so so let's pretend that you've never heard these stories Tom so then I can tell you again what what what I think we should.
Do is let's kick off the recording and then I will start the recording with the story unless you want me to start the story and then we can kick straight into the record but it's up to you so we're going to have well the Preamble is pretty short now isn't it the Preamble is cut stop let let me do the Preamble basically it's my birthday tomorrow yeah this will be like the times two kind of pre teaser it's my.
Birthday tomorrow which is I'm excited about I'm going to be turning 34 I've been given very kindly given PlayStation 5 by my beautiful wife kemma um and I was playing it basically I've been playing a PS4 Call of Duty I've realized that one like when I played it the graphics didn't load in um when I played it online and now finally they do so I've kind of been brought back to where everybody else is playing so it feels.
Like underwhelming that like this is the standard that I was expected to have through my PlayStation 4 but some of the benefits now is like it's a digital version so I don't have a CD drive it's all just like hard drive stuff I downloaded the new Modern Warfare 3 game cuz I really enjoy those games I've always enjoyed their gameplay like Modern Warfare 2 had some really good gameplay where you you hijack a car you then drive it you then shoot other.
People on the other car you then get out of your car and jump to the other car while it's all driving CU you're chasing somebody some of that game play is is like the best gameplay that I've experienced so I'm hoping that that will be the case in this game I've only played a couple of r one noticeable there's pots and pans in the corner there's no pots and pans in the corner oh there is f and pants in the.
Corner you won't be able to see it if I chop it this it's because these are for you and it's in my room because I need to remember to say hey do you want some pots and pants I thought there was going to be a percussion just you doing the door stop yeah it's a part of my percussion thing so yeah they're actually for you so if you want them it's a walk and two frying pans but the tou or t tou is that.
How you pronounce yeah are the good ones it's because they don't work on our induction oh cook the giveaways for our fans yeah comment yeah well we didn't even get the two comments of the bus but so yeah it's unlikely that anybody's going to win well we didn't we didn't put a timeline on it to be fair but to be fair we did get one Johnny wton yeah we did so thanks um thanks JW so his name just in case no no not for.
Legal reasons yeah so the PlayStation 5 has like 800 megabyte speed rather than the PlayStation 4 which was much much lower so I'm hoping that that will improve my um my abilities when it comes to like less lag and so forth which is good so that was that so watch the gaming YouTube yeah watch the gaming space hopefully I'll start streaming that and then funny story on the weekend obviously wait there what was the best but comment from Johnny wton so the so.
The rest of the two listeners are listening that are family members I actually can't remember what the bus butt thing I'll have to I'll have to look it up maybe we can put this in the episode yeah let's put this in the episode cuz then it'll give me time to find it but um yeah on the weekend obviously I've got the drum kit in this room so I had to clear the bed out I've obviously kept the mattress for sound.
Proofing or like um acoustic kind of like Vibes because otherwise it be super echoey in this room because it already is even with this mattress and um I took the bed frame to the storage unit that we have we just have a tiny story storage unit put it all in the car drive it to the storage unit unload it I try and get in the door my app's logged out so I spent age trying to get back into.
The thing I try and take it through the door I realize that the frame horizontally is too wide to go through the door so I unload it onto another rack um onto another like trailer thing and then get it through the door and then go up the lift to my floor go all the way to the floor try and open the lock and it does not open turns out they've changed the locks when they did some maintenance but lo and behold when they send you.
That email there was no mention in the first line or the subject line that hey you need to come and get your keys I'd gone on a Saturday when it was closed and also when you ring the emergency number the emergency number is only to get you out the lift if you're stuck in the lift or if you're locked in the building it's not to like help you get into your unit so I left all my stuff and I was like if you got locked in the.
Lift any no you don't so I have to come all the way out to call them as well so I propped it all near the door then I was like this doesn't look covered and I've got sh like a plastic sheet in the car so I went back to the car get the plastic sheet and then put the plastic sheet around my items that were outside my door then I like called bank holiday Monday so that so Sunday closed Monday.
Closed so like Tuesday is the day that they see it thankfully had an email today because it's Tuesday that they've put all my stuff in the in the unit which I'm like great so funnily enough they didn't tell me how many things they put in the unit so maybe they've only put like one box cuz everything else got one cameras yeah yeah that one sheet the plastic sheet that I put in someone wanted the bed but not the sheet she.
Yeah so thank you Lord that nothing got stolen cuz I was worried that it would but I took a photo and was like Kim you okay with this stuff being stolen she's like yeah because you're always going to be okay with that so thankfully they've done that so that saves me going today and then I'll be like cool I'm on holiday so uh I'll um I'll pick up the keys from at the point yeah so there you go that's our ramble part two that's.
Been done in a much shorter time because we've just been literally speaking with with the recording being offes I think this is the only time that has happened though isn't it well we've we've we've tried the auto record bit today which come so I wonder if maybe you have to log into it first because it's your like account and I'm classed as a guest maybe that's something that we have to look into yeah may maybe maybe indeed but um.
But yeah that that's it so do you want to add to any of the pre preamble preamble preamble uh I guess started no we could kick in might as well cool all right so oh it is a pretty humble question actually okay might might as well have a chat I can see the Y right going to present the mod I I I was just like what do I do do you do the whole like smile like pause and then.
Start com then cuz if we have the door stop intro video thing could we just slot it in here can you throw it in now and then we start because then it makes it easier for editing fortunate because it's like I would have to screen share it would be a third camera but I don't know I I I don't think so and also maybe the paid version would have this ability to like run like intro stuff because the no you.
Can still live stream here can't you yeah thing maybe we need to give that a go at some point but Media stuff is usually just audio so it doesn't actually allow you to think okay oh wait no play audio and video files files played while recording are served saved as a separate track there we go tell how much planning we put into this podcast yeah and how much we know about the tech that we use um cool next time maybe we could try it.
Live well even though we're not live but it might take a little bit of time to upload it but let me see if just long we could talk about the YouTube ratings yeah the ranks yeah now you should summarize the 20 minute chat that you had on a solo thing so so my solo chat was thinking or talking to myself about Dan going for his drink short chat and then what should we talk about and I was saying how we could potentially.
Recap or have a part two for the ones that have viewed well on YouTube so then I was just naming out the ones that have done well on YouTube and with 50 views and above so the number one was build a legacy with no reward number two was WWDC 23 recap so last year's um Apple event uh software Apple event which we're half thinking of maybe doing a live one for this year but we'll we might try that um don't be do stop.
Episode one so I guess that's for everyone that was checking us out and seeing if we're any good at doing it for the first time only uh how I optimize life with dyslexia so it's interesting how the dyslexia topic came up bilingual dreams and dedicated thinking time and then trauma impact and emotional emotional health importance the reason why I laughed is I read that wrong on my own then I read it wrong with you but luckily the recording I.
Laughed and then didn't read it properly the joys of Dyslexia guys yeah I think the Legacy one is very interesting but um I have noticed I think we might need to do don't be a doorstop in Welsh because I was thinking this recently I want to find more Welsh good podcasts because the only one I listen to at the moment is the footy one that I think is sponsored by BBC sounds or whatever where it's the two football.
Commentary guys um they're quite good at banter and stuff so it's quite nice but yeah there is like a pod there is like a podcast website like a Welsh podcast website which which um is a directory of Welsh podcasts maybe you should have a try and find that and have a look at that to see if there's any ones that could be of interest I I think what I find is difficult is switching over to Welsh because then like none of the.
Transcribing stuff none of the like that stuff then makes sense and also chances are people like don't know well I drop off here because you can't create um subtitles for it for just that part it just thinks it's English subtitles throughout so might it be really interesting when YouTube gets clever enough to do like multilingual videos as in like you have somebody speaking Spanish and then somebody speaking English and it would be able to give you the Spanish.
Subtitles which you could do manually yourself but I'm saying like if it could automate it and you say hey there's two languages being spoken or three languages or if it just recognized it I actually wonder if should Beane instead of cut that cut that cut that it should be build it build it build it yeah yeah that's all things come up with yeah cuz maybe maybe Riverside has the ability to do multilingual stuff but it's it's difficult but I think it's selected on.
Certain languages I want to say right Spanish Italian French and Welsh is not supported typically like that quickly yeah I think it's usually fifth tier of language probably Welsh is at the moment yeah it's been probably bumped up a little bit with welcome to rexon but that's about it yeah that's interesting well I did try and upload it but there's a 100 megabyte limit so I'm not going to be able to get it on anyway there we go I can't remember.
If you I can't remember if you talked about the frying pans while we were recording or not Al frying pans up for uh auction so they're in my room because uh I'm G to play you know when it's like and at the end you have like a musical outro I'm going to play the don't be a doorstop theme with these pots and pans so hang around till the end of the episode I'll play the pots and pans I.
Actually am just giving them away to Tom so if he wants them right let's get going I I'll do the intro this time [Music] yeah stop don't be up Don't Stop be up do stop and welcome back to another episode of don't be a do stop um as you know last week we spoke a lot about being a bus but and if you don't know what that means go back to the last episode and it will explain all however we have not.
Quite reached uh threshold yet so we're still waiting for those to come in so if you have a look at the next last episode well maybe extra week maybe an extra week yeah so you've got another chance to go back to the last episode once you finish this one because we'd like you to listen to this one as well go back to the last episode and dropping a comment of your creativity so bring bring your A game um and we have had one comment so.
We are we'll we'll share here so um Johnny wonton has kindly watched and got to the end and commented which is very kind of him so I appreciate you spending 30 minutes of your precious time with us or 15 minutes if you watch to high the speed and his suggestion is does my butt look big in this question mark good exclamation mark I think that makes sense and Johnny has experiened doing this with um with i61 so oh sorry I was saying Johnny it's.
Because I have a friend called Johnny John wton apologies John um but yeah he he basically did stuff with i61 and it worked quite well and that was on the back of one bus so I'm like oh right maybe it could be like I thought it'd be like if you're going to advertise it'll be back on the back on on multiple buses but if you were like cool we're just going to do one bus I didn't even know.
You could just specify the number of buses in which you're going to be on the rear end of so um so that's interesting but I definitely think you want peak times only yeah peak times only of the one bus people getting traffic staring at it staring at our bus so um so yeah keep the ideas coming through um obviously the the butt jokes basically is being persisted here but that's fine we want to come up with something like funny otherwise it'll.
Just be lost on people when it separate topic were you were you a big fan of Cyclops in the Xmen yes I think so I thought you were cuz right now you're looking like Cyclops cuz what I've done is I've connected my laptop to the TV and put you on the TV but put my camera in front of it so the lens is lining up with your eyes so technically I can't see your eyes I'm looking into the lens but I can.
See the rest of your head so if I just do this then it looks like laser eyes yeah for me yeah I was a big fan of Cyclops probably because he was kind of like the leader of the crew probably and he was more kind of like the Strategic one in the planner and he wasn't the crazy one cuz he was always like Wolverine was like the off the rails right the Rogue one yeah yeah the Rogue one that would do crazy stuff Cyclops.
Was always like the yeah the one that could kind of like bring everybody together is because obviously Wolverine was his own his own Vibe so yeah it's interesting and also I've been playing some RuneScape as well so you realize as a kid how long it takes cuz back in the day it was dialup right how long it takes to like level up but then as an adult after just sit there you can actually level up very quickly because.
You just know one you know what to do you know where things are um so I'm currently trying to get to level 60 mining so I can enter the mining Guild you should so stream that and just you just mining for like five hours stream RuneScape and people stream something called Shemu do you remember Shemu uh that really slow game that you pick what conversation you have with people is it that one yes yes so it's kind of like.
You're in Japan and you're this like kid and you walk around and to me it was the first game on on the Dreamcast that like you know when it's like press X press one and cuz you fight and it's like press one and you press a or whatever and you like punch and then press like to the right and then he slides out the way or whatever so I was like it was the first time that that was introduced like.
Obviously that exists in other games but it was my first experience of that type of game play um and also the narrative driven gameplay where you choose different narratives and stuff and remember like you could buy the Coke machine and I think one of my B my my best bits was like you know when you were working in the shipyard and you were doing the um forklift so you could work in the shipyard you do the forklift and you try and move these.
Boxes to this side or whatever and then you'd get paid for the day and then you'd be able to use that money to buy food and C it was so like I I feel like I got very limited memory but actually I do remember that I I think the first five minutes I think Tony went on it our older brother and I spotted the fact that you had to choose even though I guess it's a good thing you get to.
Choose which route you go but because all the choices were reading orientated that was back when I used to just play football outside cuz I couldn't be bother reading so i' be like stuff this I'm just going to go play football against the wall outside M that is true any sort of thing was like heavy text but Now accessibility tools have got better you could probably enable like automatic voice over so it then read out the options for you but still it's a.
Slow game anyway it' obviously be even slower and if that's something that you didn't enjoy then cuz you got into games like cuz didn't you get into to um wasn't there some sort of Star Wars knight thing that had a similar you get to pick where you go I think it was Star Wars Jedi Knight or Star Wars Outcast or something like that it's cuz I broke my wrist I went rollerblading snapped both of my bones in my arm cuz I went over.
The spine of a pipe like two half pipes and broke my wrist and yeah EXA exactly and F it was landing on your wrist on the other side was the bad bit yeah exactly and then I played X for a whole week and I played that game and that's where you get to be like the light side or the dark side I really enjoyed that game and then I think after that because I played for a week my thumb started.
Like clicking so I kind of like had not arthritis but that kind of like weird like clicky thumbs because I played so much um but yeah that was a great week great week so have we done the intro already yeah we have haven't we this week I wanted to bring this up two weeks ago but I forgot this week I was reminded of something I wanted to share in regard like a marketing tactic so obviously you get Flyers right you get.
Flyers from the Kebab shops and the fish and ship shops or whatever they fly through um like hey do you want some fish and ships hey you got this thing or you got Domino's or whatever whatever this was Roofing people and it was a compliment compliment slip which is very old school uh do you remember like designing that in CDT or whatever for like branding um you'd always do like a l head business card and a compliment slip was like the standard three things.
To do so the compliment slip it had compliment slip of roofers so the fix and gutters and stuff and in handwritten font in Black so it looked different um to the actual thing it looked like it been done in a felt tip pen uh so it's kind of like they've been using this like um I think there's a font that looks like a marker pen uh like a highlight marker okay they've written in the Highlight Market be like.
Hey just to let you know we're in the area doing gutters your like your neighbor's gutters and one is know if you want us to do your gutter as well like let us know kind of thing and obviously I know that it's printed because when you look at it you can see it's all the same color right it's all the same like reflection which suggest it's not handwritten at all but if you put it on a slant and stuff right and.
They've used this like marker pen font I was like this actually makes a lot of sense for any sort of company and you'd be able to print these off like you buy a thousand of them right and get somebody to deliver them through the door chances are you don't even need to be in the area as in like you you don't need to have done somebody's gutters right you can like hey it's just our area that we service like hey we've been.
In the area we've done your neighbor's gutters or whatever and we're interested if you want to do yours and you just naturally think like what I find is like when people align to like I've been meaning to do it but I haven't done it and then some people like you know they've just turned up at the right time then you call them up and you B it in so I assume that their approach is one of the most successful approaches when it.
Comes to flyering because a typical flyer would just be like hey here are the photos of all the stuff we've done previously but the whole handwritten note stuff and I think people typically don't like big companies they want to trust somebody because a lot of the time you know trades people there are good stories there are bad stories you know all that stuff so it can give the handwritten no approach makes more sense so I'm like if anybody's out there and.
They're a trades person design a compliment slip put like handwritten fun over it and slant it a little bit with like hey we we've been in the area we've just done your neighbor thing it didn't even have any photos didn't have any photos so just like keep it playing and then print a thousand of them and post it out to like your local area guaranteed you're going to get people responding to that stuff because it's just that Personal Touch I guess which.
Is I've had that recent oh I say recently it's probably last year ago someone saying I think it's like doing fencing or it might have been like cleaning windows or something but I think where they miss out is we're doing it to your neighbors because we're in the area and we've got all the stuff we can give you a 10% discount because we might be able to slot you in at the end of the day type of vibe yeah I feel like.
They miss out on that well you being close to me they're making that as like a oh this helps you out because we could do it straight away but if you're not in a rush you're like well unless there's a discount involved actually it's more helpful for you to be near cuz then you don't need to move around your stuff rather than cuz I could just call you tomorrow and drag you out the next day or the following week or whatever yeah I.
Feel like they miss out on a because we're in the area we can bulk do stuff that means we save time and energy because let's say we can leave our resources on your drive on your Garrett or whatever then it's like you can save money because the time will be quicker because I think the difficulty I found with doing this person along your road I'm there going well I probably because the breakdown of community is happening a bit I don't know who lives down our.
Road so I don't know if they're going to get someone really good or really bad obviously technically I could wander up and find them if I remembered what number they gave me or whatever or remember the name was a bit different if it's like oh it's that guy like I know that guy and he does really good job because ideally you sort of want to know the neighbor and then the neighbor to say I'm getting my gutter in this week.
They're offering both of us 10% off if I find someone to get theirs done and I've done my research and done it so then you're turning the neighbor into the salesperson and building the relationship from that way and I guess like a classic like referral link style of they get something for recommendation I wonder whether or not you could you're right neighbors don't speak could you play on that again I'm just going to give this deception concept out not that I potentially would.
Do but let's say you were like hey your neighbor John got his gutters done and suggested that you might also like them and you'd basically put a generic name in there so like could you get away with putting a generic name in there like or or you could be like John up the road said you might be interested so he's he because of his referral you get 10% because JN suggested you or what you could like rope it in to it but if.
You knew the street you'd be like there is no John in the street and then you'd be like these guys are liars and then you wouldn't book them but I find that I'm like maybe that would be a bit like off-putting but generally it's kind of like could you rope in something like and that's why the whole like oh your neighbor up the road had theirs done and then that already builds the trust of like you were good enough to do theirs.
Then it's like and maybe it is a case of they were happy and they were like you like they wanted us to kind of like get in touch with you guys do you know what I mean it's the whole like um social proofing if you left the name and let the number of the house and then maybe the name and the name that says like and John's happy for you to go and see the work okay you can't do it to an area.
That you've not done but there's that element of a it's giving you I guess free will not free will but freedom to go up there and have a chat because he's happy for you to check out the Loft conversion or the the garden redone or whatever and then you can have a chat to see how they've done yeah yeah I think as well it's like a lot of the time it's about timing because if I've never thought about it.
Then I've never done it but if I have thought about it and I've not got around to doing it so for example recently somebody EMA messaged me to be like hey how you doing it's been like a year since we've done this like do you want us to do a and b and I was like yes and he was like if I do A and B together at the same time it's cheaper so I'm like oh that's interesting so again you can.
Do the whole like if I come and do two tasks it'll be cheaper than just doing one task so I was like yeah sorted so this guy makes made like 150 quid out of me just because he he chased me to do it right I knew I needed to me I needed to call him at some point to ask him I just didn't get around to doing it so like if you can go around just like chase people.
And be there at the right time and sometimes you don't know what the right time is so just be be there right somebody might have thought about it you this month and especially if you're sending like 100 messages chances are one person has thought about it and just not got round to doing it because it's kind of like bottom of your pile of tasks to do um so I think that's like a good a good thing to I have wonder if.
People can change to more subscription base like guttering electrician even like massuse in the sense of you pay9 a month and you get two massages in the year or whatever CU I think more people particularly those that aren't particularly great at budgeting but may like the idea of I definitely want to massage it or I definitely want my gut ring done once a year you're paying for it a little bit each month um and at the end of the day if.
The person does it correctly if you get them starting the payment before you're doing it the following year then you're laughing because they're basically paying for it all throughout the 12 months and then you do the job cuz then you're like thing isn't it yeah it's like I've got a subscription to always look after my guttering always to check out my boiler always to check my plugs or whatever this is why like one of the best cash flow Concepts is.
Vouchers you know if you bought a voucher for somebody else and you paid like10 or whatever the business now can use that 1010 today and then obviously when you spend the10 like they've already made money with your money kind of thing right so the10 when you do that is like it's fine like it's that kind of like rolling concept of of some sorts cuz somebody else has paid in1 pound so it's fine right it's like a bank like if.
You want to remove your money Co you can because somebody else has just put the money in right it's just like but we don't know that stuff yeah I think I think there's a there's a great vouch coming soon for don't be a do stop yeah yeah1 pound vouchers so you can watch all the episodes with no ads yeah V to buy stuff from our shop but it's coming soon yeah that's it yeah we'll use those it's basically a.
Pre-sale so so yeah the handwritten note is um like a really good touch another thing I've been thinking about recently is like the importance of not making decisions in the moment sometimes when you're face to face um so for example like a job interview there's a typical strategy where it's like you know when I'm trying to convince you to take this job or to to do something you should never make a decision in the moment necessarily because sometimes you're.
Kind of like um it's sprung up upon you right and it might not be the right decision um and what you should do is always have this like fictitious person that you need to check with now it doesn't need to be always fictitious but you could be like that's really interesting I'll have to go away and chat with my partner or chat with my wife or chat with my husband or I'll have to like chat I I'll have to speak.
With my coach or something something then it means that the person you're speaking to realizes that it's not Tom that I'm having to convince I'm having to convince the other person or the other people but I don't have access to them so it kind of like buys you time and I had a situation today sorry yesterday I can't tell all of it but basically when somebody was trying to force me to to do something that was beneficial to them right and in kind of.
Like getting you flustered to make a decision in the moment and kind of like oh but this is usual this is like oh we've done this and all this stuff and using that kind of like language to bring down your barriers so you do it right and like I've even brought a pen so you can sign it Jo me like that type of approach kind of throws you off so thankfully Kim wasn't with me like she was in the shower so I was like well I I.
Can't do it like she's not here so it's like it's using that like third person uh sorry not third like additional person to kind of like add in like a boundary then absolutely so then you can go away think about it with a clear mind and be like actually what they what that was what was happening there wasn't quite right and in any other situation if you get flustered youd do it and then you would regret doing it because you.
Didn't need to do it for example kind of thing so it's like the importance of one like always trying to stay calm when you're in like an intense moment where somebody's trying to force you to do something or making you do something that makes you feel like one your gut is feeling uncomfortable or two you're like this is a bit weird kind of thing but okay cool you mean like you don't want to like overly brush it under the carpet.
Because you realize oh it's strategic kind of thing so listening to a um really good podcast about I'll search at the same time it the connected life people and it was this week um and it was talking about having a I don't want to say self-image cuz that's wrong but I guess it um selfworth no not quite I want to get the wording correct that's what I'm developing a healthy SE sense of self that was it right sense of.
Basically saying that element of giving yourself a voice but knowing if someone's pushing you to do something to go actually I'm happy where I'm at like I know myself and I work actually I don't need to fall in line with whatever you're encouraging me to do or forcing me to do and basically the guy is really interesting because he's basically saying how apparently this pastor was really encouraging him to um I don't know be a part of the team or.
Something but then instantly he's like okay I'll be a part of the team he was forcing him to do like all the odd jobs and like I think dragging him through the mud by the sounds of things of forcing him to do do every little bit to the point that he was sort of trying to take control trying to take your power and take control so then when he was like right we've got this event and I need you to.
Do your I guess your proper job or whatever or your proper volunteering role or whatever it was he was like no actually like you basically used me this whole time just to take control actually I'm just going to step back from the situation because I don't feel like this is right it's to the point of like bullying style um and then the GU is like panicking because at the end of the day you just took back your control of yeah.
I'm in control I don't need to do whatever you tell me to do because you're you're a leader um but then they show some other examples that are a little bit more serious and and yeah powerful that's worth listening to but it is that element of sometimes you gets like something not quite right here because you don't know does he not like him for some reason like has something bad happened behind his back like there's so much that.
Can go on and you don't always know and at the end of the day all you can do is do the best with the information that you've got and try and do the best judgment calls of something's not sitting right actually I need to get out of the situation yeah and put in those boundaries so one of which the simplest of boundary is like distance right in the sense of like that sounds interesting can you text it to me and.
I'll get back to you you know if you put in that hole CU people love to meet you face to face put pressure on you in that moment because they know they can trigger your insecurity about like the fact you appreciate or like you value other people's opinions or you don't want to look like a bad person or you don't want to look uh disloyal or you don't want to look weak or what whatever whatever right so see your face to face.
So if you're like oh that's interesting like you don't need to be negative about it or and you can get away with not even saying no in the moment right oh that's interesting yeah I'll have a think about it can you text it to me so then they text it to you and then you have that like buff right now it's like a Comm a text communication thing or like oh can you send it to me an email then it's.
Like cool it's written down you have a log of it and it kind of puts a bit of distance so then you can have a clear mind to be like thinking about it um or you can be like I'll have to check with my wife or whatever in his case right I check with my wife or check with my family or whatever then later on he can come back and kind of like say so we've had a chat and actually I can't do it.
And it doesn't need to be overly negative it doesn't need to be like no how dare you how dare that you ask me or whatever whatever it can all be amicable so you don't come across as like difficult or whatever whatever like thing you're trying to avoid but it's funny you come to realize that people a lot of the time most of the time come from their own perspectives and their own prerogatives right their own goals so of course they're going to do this.
Thing because they want this particular outcome and if you can just see what's driving them you can see like Clarity and you can kind of like Dodge between the bullets kind of thing to be like I'm I'm not going to play this game and you want to disrupt it um and kind of like change it a little bit um so then they're not kind of like just doing it because they want it and not really thinking about you kind of thing you.
Know yeah that makes sense because there's no harm in people asking I'm not against people asking you know it's more so that like if you don't want to do it make sure you say you don't want to do it because there's nothing worse than saying yes because you felt obliged to or you felt pressure and then you have that like guilt like kind of like annoying feeling for ages kind of thing then you do it but sometimes people need.
Those moments in consecutive and kind of like with greater intensity to like finally have that like selfworth or like sense of self to say no the next time because you just remind yourself of that uncomfortable position or that uncomfortable feeling to then be encouraged to say no like by default to always say no like only say I think there's a saying that like you should predominantly say no unless it's a like a like a a massive yes like a hell yes.
Value like a real big yes which is I think is a fair thing because again you want to mind be mindful of your own energy in your own kind of like commitment levels and stuff isn't it so it's really interesting talking about being mindful for energy what have you got fun for your uh week off anything interesting as we so you familiar with the um Amazon Jeremy Clarks and the farm like deadly squat thing right yeah yeah so we're going going up so it's around.
Like Oxfordshire type like cotwell type area or like chiping Norton even which is probably bit more north um so we're going to stay outside of Oxfordshire somewhere then drive over to the farm and they say that the farm usually gets so busy the car park gets so busy that they have to close early so hopefully we can go like crack awn kind of thing to go and see it um but then I've realized is it half term right.
Now currently this week it's halterm yeah right right so like there'll be even more people around cuz it's half term so sometimes in different regions the weeks can slightly change because I know there's a place in Liverpool that they've got two weeks off currently CU they I think pulled a week off from the summer holidays so maybe some people might have the second week off or whatever but who knows yeah there's loads of kids there then yeah there's a week off there as.
Well yeah so we'll be spending a couple of days out just like chilling you know massages food you know Hotel so P that that kind of vibe which is really good so funny enough I chat to my um Church leader he's um moving moving to Watford um soon which is a shame um and I was saying like oh it's my birthday soon he's like oh cool I was like yeah typically I do something small because I prefer the small thing um and he's like.
Oh yeah I do too but for my 40th cuz he's over 409 for my my 40th he regrets not doing like a big deal so I'm like oh interesting that's good to know it's like good to know when people tell you they regrets because then you can kind of like factor in whether or not you want to do something similar too um yeah so yeah maybe for 35 or 40 you know when I'm a million there at 35 you go big.
Yeah yeah that's it those are those are my closing thoughts closing thoughts any questions for the community that have hopefully liked and subscribed I was trying to think if there any um so one we still want you to go back and watch the bus episode which is literally just the last episode um which is basically don't be afraid to be seen trying and then the question really would be um what kind of like tactic or line have you used to avoid making a decision in.
The moment and they could be funny as well you can be like sorry I can't answer you my dog has just D all over the kitchen I need to go so yeah any suggestions on particular lines that you've used to put in good boundaries essentially there we go yeah enjoy your holiday thanks so much and on that note keep hammering those nails and we'll see you next time bye for now [Music].